Reflections

Who Am I In Christ?

“I don’t know who I am anymore.”

These words echo through therapy rooms, whispered in exhaustion, grief, or quiet defeat. In today’s world—where identity is shaped by shifting roles, filtered images, and social metrics—many find themselves lost and untethered.

As a Christian psychologist, I’ve walked alongside people in this identity crisis. Some feel broken by rejection, others exhausted by performance. But all carry a shared ache: to be known, accepted, and loved for who they truly are.

The Identity Struggle

From a psychological lens, identity confusion often emerges from trauma, chronic invalidation, or societal pressure. In these conditions, the “false self” forms—a persona designed to protect us but one that eventually distorts who we are.

This false self might look like:

The Performer: constantly seeking approval through success.
The People-Pleaser: shaped by fear of rejection.
The Invisible One: hiding in shame and self-doubt.

Underneath these strategies is a person longing to be known, not for what it does, but for who it is.

Three Ways Identity Is Formed

1. Being Other-Defined

This identity is shaped by others’ expectations: family, culture, church, or social media. When you believe, “I must be who others need me to be,” you’re constantly adjusting, striving, and fearing disapproval.

Symptoms: burnout, resentment, low self-worth.

2. Being Self-Defined

Popular culture champions the idea: “Define yourself. Create your truth.” While empowering on the surface, this approach often leads to isolation or insecurity, especially when our inner voice is influenced by past wounds or present comparisons.

Symptoms: anxiety, over-control, fear of failure.

3. Being Christ-Defined

This identity is neither earned nor performed. It’s received, grounded in grace and declared by God. In Christ, your identity is unshakeable because it’s not built on shifting sand, but on eternal truth.

Who God Says You Are

The Bible affirms your true identity, not by your past, but by Christ’s finished work:

You are chosen.
“You did not choose me, but I chose you.” – John 15:16
You are loved.
“Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:39
You are redeemed.
“In Him we have redemption through His blood.” – Ephesians 1:7
You are a new creation.
“If anyone is in Christ… the old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
You are God’s masterpiece.
“We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus.” – Ephesians 2:10

These are the truths to live by, identity anchors for when life feels overwhelming.

Healing the False Self

Romans 12:2 calls us to “be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This is the heart of Christian psychology: replacing distorted beliefs with God’s truth.

Key healing practices include:

Cognitive Reframing:
Challenging the core lie “I’m not enough” with “In Christ, I am fully accepted.”
Inner Child Work:
Meeting parts of yourself shaped by fear or rejection with compassion and grace.
Grief and Forgiveness:
Letting go of shame, blame, or resentment to make space for God’s healing love.

Therapeutic healing and spiritual formation go hand in hand. As we allow God’s truth to saturate our thoughts and feelings, our lives begin to align with who He says we are.

Faith in Practice

Living from your identity in Christ is not a one-time decision—it’s a daily discipline. Here are some practical ways to anchor yourself in your Christ-defined identity:

Scripture Meditation:
Reflect on identity-rich chapters like Ephesians 1 or Psalm 139.
Identity Affirmations:
Speak truth aloud: “I am forgiven. I am seen. I belong to Christ.”
Journaling:
- What lies have I believed about myself?
- What does God’s Word say instead?
Worship & Prayer:
Let worship realign your heart with truth and connection.
Mentoring & Discipleship:
Work with a mentor to explore your identity in Christ.