The Power of Forgiveness

A Wounded Heart Seeks Release
Forgiveness is a cornerstone of both psychological healing and spiritual liberation. When we cling to anger or resentment, our minds become prisons of negativity that obstruct the flow of love and hope. Forgiveness – whether directed at ourselves or others – is not only a commandment from Christ but also a therapeutic practise that frees us from the heavy burden of past hurts. But how do we actually forgive? And how does psychology support the deep, transformative work that Scripture calls us to?

When Hurt Turns Inward
Psychologically, harbouring resentment or bitterness places immense strain on our mental and physical health. Unforgiveness often manifests as chronic stress, anxiety, sleep disturbances, and even physical ailments. It also erodes our emotional resilience and undermines our ability to form healthy relationships. In therapy, we frequently encounter clients who remain stuck not because of what happened to them, but because of what they continue to carry. Techniques such as mindfulness, narrative reframing, and cognitive-behavioural therapy can help us identify unprocessed anger and reshape our internal dialogue. Forgiveness, in this context, is not about excusing harmful behaviour—it’s about reclaiming inner freedom.

Forgiveness as a Command and a Gift
Scripture calls us to forgive “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22), reflecting an ongoing posture of grace. The cross is the ultimate image of forgiveness—undeserved, unearned, and offered freely. When we forgive others, we mirror the mercy God has lavished upon us. This is not merely an act of obedience; it is an invitation to participate in the redemptive love of Christ. Forgiveness is a spiritual discipline, cultivated through prayer, Scripture, and surrender. It opens our hearts to healing and allows God’s grace to do what bitterness never can—renew, restore, and reconcile.

Grace in Action
Forgiveness is where theology and psychology profoundly meet. Psychological healing requires the unburdening of emotional pain. Spiritual transformation invites us to release judgment and embrace grace. Forgiveness integrates both, forming a bridge between mental health and spiritual growth. Whether it’s forgiving others or ourselves, this process calls for courage, self-awareness, and often support. Forgiveness does not forget the offence, but it refuses to let it define our story. It is the choice to turn pain into growth, and guilt into wisdom. Through both clinical work and pastoral care, we see how forgiveness softens hearts and rewrites narratives.

Forgiving Step by Step

• Start with Self-Reflection: Ask, What am I still carrying?

• Pray Honestly: Invite Christ into the pain. Ask for clarity and compassion.

• Name the Hurt: Journalling or writing an unsent letter can help process the experience.

• Reframe the Story: With the help of a counsellor or trusted mentor, explore new perspectives.

• Repeat the Process: Forgiveness is often layered. Return as many times as necessary.

• Practice Self-Forgiveness: Acknowledge mistakes. Accept grace. Learn and grow.

Christian Psychologist’s Reflection – A Case of Self-Forgiveness
One client once said to me, “I can forgive others, but I can’t forgive myself.” Their journey involved years of harsh self-judgement and spiritual shame. Through therapy, we explored the deeper narratives they held about worthiness and grace. Over time, as they engaged in Scripture, prayer, and therapeutic reflection, they began to accept that God’s forgiveness was not partial—it included them too. That moment of release didn’t come overnight, but it changed everything: the way they spoke to themselves, the way they engaged with others, and the way they experienced God.

The Path to Freedom
Forgiveness is not always quick or easy, but it is always possible through Christ. It transforms bitterness into peace and judgement into compassion. Whether you’re holding onto pain from others or struggling with regret within yourself, take heart—God’s grace is enough. You are invited into a deeper freedom.

Reflection Questions

• What pain have I held onto for too long?

• What would it mean to forgive in this situation?

• How might God be inviting me to receive or offer grace today?